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Raising five dirt-digging, tree climbing, rock collecting, grass rolling little darlings while married to a construction worker who was always in the middle of some household upgrade really left the male/female energy grotesquely imbalanced in our home. Although we did have a female black lab, she offered no pretty in the pink sparkle in tipping the scales towards femininity as she liked to steal away for her midday rendezvous around the neighborhood returning only after finding the perfect blend of Eau de dead fish with Eau de dog poop, her two favorite fragrances carefully matted into her fur.
Day after day, month after month, year after year, I gave my all to my family: cooking and cleaning and feeding and cleaning and baking and cleaning and teaching and cleaning and organizing and scheduling, and did I mention cleaning? Money was always tight with our young family of seven and I became the master at frugality, and that meant no pretty pennies left over for sparkling up mom in pink either.
After a while, and I do mean a while, like a decade later, I found myself feeling less and less human. I was working like a robot, and worse yet, I was being treated like one. I had been taking on every challenge and handling it like a boss. I had been taking on every task piled on my plate and tackling all through to completion. I had been taking on every mess to fix and remedy like I was aiming for MVP in damage control. And I was losing myself in the process.
One night I had an odd dream about a raccoon. It was memorable enough that I spoke about it with a spiritual counselor. The raccoon was about as large as a seven-year-old child when he stood up on his hind legs. He roared at me as much as a raccoon roar, but he did not attack me. This took place on my front porch right outside the entry door and I was unable to go inside the house. He was clearly yelling at me as if he had an important message for me.
“How can you pour from an empty cup?” My spiritual counselor asked me. Mom gives all day, pouring from her own cup to make sure her family has what it needs to get through each day. But when she doesn’t replenish her cup, what is left after a while to give? If we want to be able to give the best we can, it is necessary to refill our cups.
It’s practically second nature for moms to put themselves last. We are nurturing and caring for others who depend on us and we are happy to do it. The task of mothering infants and toddlers can be self-gratifying. All it takes is that little cherubic smile to make it all worth it. As a parent of young children, so you must have to create a parent-child bond relationship, we often forget to fill our own cups. This is vital for our self-care, but for some of the stubborn women like me, here’s another way to justify taking time to split the load of housework. We need to remember that we teach people how to treat us and we teach our children how moms should be treated.
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Here are 5 steps to immediately refill your Mom’s cup.
In this blog, we are discussing with you 5 easy steps that immediately refill your Mom’s cup
Create a list of chores with your children and decide together who can do what each day. Hang the list in a conspicuous place so everyone can see it and refer to it with ease.
Create a routine checklist for mornings getting ready for school and bedtime so that your child can learn to take responsibility for checking the list and be autonomous in getting things done.
You schedule play dates for your children and chauffeur them to all of their social events, don’t forget to have fun yourself. Schedule fun times with your children, date night with your significant other once per month at the very least, and schedule a mom’s night out where you can relax with other moms or have a girl’s night with old friends, or just a ‘you’ night doing whatever you like to do.
This can be as simple as taking the dog for a walk daily and/or pushing the stroller. You can take your child with you. My children used to ride their bikes with me on the bike path while I pushed their baby brother in the running stroller. Start with a one-mile walk and gradually increase the mileage. You may want to research yoga classes with your kids. You owe it to yourself to move your body and get your heart pumping. The release of endorphins during an aerobic workout will instantly lift your spirits and get your creative juices flowing, too.
Meditation improves your mental, spiritual, and emotional health. You can include your children in your meditation routine as we do in the Mommy & Me/Daddy & Me Meditation Program.
My children’s pediatrician told me that the same-sex parent is most influential. For moms who are raising little girls, don’t forget that you are showing your daughters how to act like a mom. Someday they will likely be moms too. And for moms raising little boys, you are teaching your sons what to expect of their future wives. We need to teach children to treat us better for their sake as well as ours.
The list above offers so much more than ways to refill the mom cup. Try each step on the list and watch the positive impact on all areas of life. You love your children, remember to enjoy life for everyone’s benefit!